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Who would have thought that the Grand Duke of Crabbsville would have such an eventful trip. He had set off early that morning to continue his quest to find Lucy. A friend had told him he had just seen her on the beach, round the corner behind the "
Cliff". He had been looking for her for some days now and had virtually run out of ideas. Last year they had decided they would marry, but recently she had become more and more distant. He sensed their relationship might be coming to an end, but apart from a certain secretiveness about her, he had no idea what had gone wrong.
He hurried round the corner, hoping she might still be in sight. Boom boom boom bu-boom boom came a deep loud sub-woofer-type beat and he saw, for the first time ever, an opening, like a cave, in the back-side of the
Cliff. It was subtly lit in an array of colours and there were extravagant wall-hangings and ornaments everywhere. Strobes of coloured lights were dancing against the cave walls and everything seemed to swing gently in time with the beat. There was a signboard at the entrance which said
"Let the Music Be". Curious, and in particular hoping to find Lucy in there, he wandered in, trying to look casual and hoping not to be noticed. The sound was now deafening and there was a familiar sweet smell about the place. Someone scuttled out of sight at one end of the cave - someone he thought he recognised. "Luuucyyy!" he yelled. "Lucy! It's me! Don't run away... Pleeeease..."
As he was frantically trying to see where Lucy had gone, he caught a glimpse of something drastically different occurring outside the cave's entrance. It had suddenly turned very dark, with menacing looking clouds forming. Then he saw what appeared to be a huge swirling series of orbs descending from the sky, each connected to the other by a spiralling metal-like structure. Beneath it, as though guiding it, was a creature looking like a kind of astronaut, glowing in a strange orange light. It was busily wafting its arms to and fro in the air and to the Grand Duke's horror, this whole structure seemed to be coming closer and closer to him. The music and the loud beat had become louder than ever and he was beginning to feel as though his ears would burst. He gulped for air then shouted again, "Luuuuucyyyyy!!! Where are you Lucy?" He looked at his watch and it had an odd figure on its face, which said
"19-2" - not 19-02? This was terrifying! Everything seemed to be affected by what was happening, as though there was some inexplicable magnetic pull.
Then there was a very loud explosion and a huge blast of extremely hot air came at full force towards him. This was obviously the source of the orange light that had reflected against the astronaut he had seen just now. As he was propelled up into the air he was aware of another strange sound, like words, yet not actually spoken; "We are the
Chemoautotrophic Residents!" Oh dear! They sounded terribly angry. "W-who?" cried the Grand Duke. "You heard!" came the crass reply. "W-why is th-this h-happening t-t-t-to mm...?" He could no longer speak and as he prepared himself for the worst, he vaguely remembered the figure he had seen scuttling away at the end of the cave - Lucy? But now there was no cave at all. He could see nothing but this strange new other-world that seemed to be opening up furiously before him.
Red-hot debris began to fall all round him, hot as lava and equally frightening as he tried to dodge out of the way. Then he saw dragon-like creatures forming in their dozens, like a mighty apocalyptic army. The one in the lead - the greatest and most horrifyingly magnificent one, called out a coded instruction to the rest,
"MB3D-0814-hd!" Still propelled through the air the Grand Duke realised there was nothing grand about him at all! He felt extremely small for the first time in his life, and of course, totally defenceless. In fact, he wondered if he was still really alive, or was this a stage of the death process... "Oh Lucy!" he gulped.
Suddenly there were great boulders of concrete falling about him. It looked like a
Concrete Jungle with no way to escape. It was shrouded in smoke, lit by the bright orange coloured air that now seemed to permeate everything around him. He could hardly breathe. He felt hot tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping onto his chest. Would he find her? His dear, dear Lucy? Was she all right? Had she escaped - or was she, too, caught up in this mortifying event? He had no clue as he finally fell into unconsciousness...
After a very long time (no-one actually knows whether it was in terms of hours, days or even years), the noise and heat had subsided and the Grand Duke gradually became aware of a complete change of scene. He got the impression that there was water somewhere nearby, because he could hear a kind of "glug-glug-glug" sound in his ears - and his lungs? Was he actually breathing water and still alive? And where was this place with it's odd beauty that reminded him of something
Prehistoric? Nothing was moving and at first he could see no signs of life, just this weird stillness surrounding him and these ancient, spiky looking formations of what might once have been something living, in a sandy desert-like place - under the sea...
All of a sudden he heard a sound, like "Wheeeeeeeee!" and up popped some strange
Bone Wires kind of structures. They were beautiful, and swayed gently in the water. Did he imagine it, or did he see some tiny crab-like creatures moving around inside the basket formations? Crab... He was the Grand Duke of Crabbsville... Once... Er! Maybe he had come back to his roots? He wasn't afraid because he felt some kind of familiarity about these graceful looking formations and he wanted to reach out and touch them - to make contact and communicate with them...
In an instant the
Bone Wires had disappeared completely and he found himself being sucked downwards at a fast speed, in a kind of jelly-like vortex.
Apo2015-13, the most dangerous of all jellyfish, had struck him and he was suffocating inside its plasma-like stomach. Had he come through all this - survived the apocalyptic blast, the falling of precarious debris, and escaped from the dragon regime, just to be swallowed up and annihilated at the end of it by something so well known to mankind - a jellyfish?
In an instant the Grand Duke of Crabbsville "popped out" from the lower end of the jellyfish, only to be confronted by something he had once heard about and which had always terrified him. It was known to be at the bottom of the ocean and it was feared by all who sailed anywhere near its proximity. Now here he was, just about to fall right
"Into the Abyss"! He could feel its irresistible pull, sucking him further and further towards it gaping hole. He was just in time to see a long, metallic structure with anchor points, emerging out of the depths next to him - a means of escape after all? But he was mercilessly sucked below. Down deeper and ever deeper, spinning faster and faster... "Lucy - oh Lucy!"
Then in front of him, he saw something totally unexpected. An underwater sewage works half immersed in... well, sewage! It was deserted and the place stank with the most obnoxious of all stenches, giving off a kind of blue gaseous mist. "Of
course!!!" shouted the Grand Duke of Crabbsville with the vigour of one who has had that eureka experience.
"Improper Drainage!" He danced and yelled in a frenzy of excitement, for he had discovered the actual likely cause of a calamity that everyone was trying to avert! Now he could take the necessary steps required to prevent an explosion that would be potentially worse than any atomic bomb! "Lucy, you're wonderful!" he shouted at the top of his voice. "If I hadn't been looking for you, I would never have made this discovery! I love you! Ohh I love you so very much!"
